


letting go

by killurfrost



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 10:45:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17222543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killurfrost/pseuds/killurfrost
Summary: in which caitlin’s regular habit of watching over iris comes to an end.





	letting go

caitlin let out a small breath as she made her way onto the rooftop, finding her set up from the night before still in tact. to her luck, many people didn’t come to the rooftop. as she made her way to the chair, she turned back to the door as a blast of coldness shot from her hand, freezing the handle of the door still. she was to make sure no one could interrupt her time. 

after a long day of fighting people off to complete whatever dirty mission amunet sent her on, she needed to relax. and she found that in watching her now lost lover, iris west, at home. 

every night she found herself at this spot, it reminded her of her leaving. her alter ego had become a hazard. to everyone, including herself. she had the option of a cure, but ultimately opted out to see if she could find some sort of control over it. so far, she had slightly succeeded in doing so. however, it had only been four months. 

caitlin sat herself on the chair, opening the cooler next to her, digging her hand into the now melted water, grabbing at a beer. creating an icicle from her hand, she used it to break the cap open, dropping it beside her. 

taking a sip from the bottle, she leaned forward and peeked her eyes into the binoculars she had “borrowed” from star labs. adjusting the view from the stand, she pointed it to the fifth window, five stories up on the building across the street. tonight, iris decided to leave the curtains open.

she sat on the couch alongside with a brunette boy, who caitlin finally recognized was barry. her brows furrowed, he had been over a lot lately. she quickly dismissed a thought in her head and continued to observe the two. 

iris was speaking, but caitlin couldn’t quite figure out the expression on her face. barry looked more so focused, caitlin guessing on iris’ words. with a shake of barry’s head in response before he began speaking, she watched as iris leaned forward and pressed herself back against the couch, a wine glass in her hand now. caitlin let out a small huff in response, hoping barry hadn’t been drinking some with her as well. she knew how iris got when it came to wine and emotions. 

continuing to dismiss the thoughts she refused to even think about, she leaned back and took another drink from the bottle. peering her eyes back into the device, she had noticed hunched over now, a hand placed on her back. barry’s hand. she was speaking, hand gestures all over the place. it was only until iris hid her face into her hand for a moment, until pulling back to wipe her face, that caitlin realized she was crying. 

she let out a small sigh. it hadn’t been the first time she watched her cry, probably over her. this was the first time she saw her cry with someone there to comfort her. iris downed the rest of the wine glass, placing it on the coffee table in front of the two. she watched as barry comforted her as iris continue to ramble unknown words. 

then suddenly, barry placed a hand on iris’ face, iris turning her face to stare at him. he scooted himself closer to iris, speaking. caitlin had to guess it was some sort of kind, calming, comforting words that would settle iris. that was how barry was. he was compassionate to others and he always knew what to say in a moment of distress. 

she felt a wave of nervousness wash over her. she couldn’t tell if iris was speaking, but she guessed she wasn’t considering she didn’t see the back of her jaw moving up and down. the two were silent, remaining in the same position. 

caitlin grasped onto her bottle a bit harder as she watched, her attention fully focused on them until one of them made another move to break the tension.

then, the unimaginable had happened. what caitlin had feared most. iris moved in to close the space between her and barry. their lips finally touched, iris wrapping her hand around his neck now. caitlin’s breathing faltered, her chest becoming heavy. her lips pursed, and she felt herself grow cold. 

she pulled back from the binoculars, refusing to believe what she saw. she gave herself a moment to try and relax, peeking back into them. barry was on top of her now. she shot back from the view and began to breathe heavily, a wave of emotions coming over her. she stood out of the chair and turned her back to the building across the street. her eyes shut, biting on her lip harshly until she tasted blood. 

the rush of coldness coming over her once more, she felt her alter ego kick in. it only happened when she felt angry enough, when she felt like she was in danger, or, once in a while, when it wanted to. this time, caitlin knew it originated from the anger she grew from what she had just witnessed. in fact, caitlin felt present in that moment.

“how could he do that to me?” she breathed, her typically soft voice sounding more harsh and colder. her lips pursed, standing in place as she thought about it a bit more. the cold that washed over her began to fade away, and she was back to her more vulnerable self. her eyes filled with sadness, tears threatening to slip.

she dropped to her knees, hands falling in her face as she did so, beginning to sob into them. she wasn’t ready to let iris go. she didn’t think she was ever ready to. she thought the same of iris. it had only been four months, she was sure of returning when she felt like she had herself back together. 

the thought of barry allowing iris to do so continued to enrage her. barry was supposed to be her friend. regardless of his feelings towards iris, he had to respect the love they had for one another, together or apart. instead, he had taken advantage. 

after minutes of sobbing, caitlin wiped the mess on her face away. crawling back to the chair and sitting herself back on it. she took one last into the binoculars, finding the two out of sight. she threw her head back with a sigh, hands hovering over her face. she didn’t want to think of the situations that could be occurring as of now between barry and iris. 

she leaned down to grab the bottle, downing the rest of the substance. she let out a weak sigh after the bottle parted from her lips, dropping it on the floor. folding the chair up, she went and placed it against the wall to the entrance of the rooftop. the cooler sat beside it. she took the binoculars from the stand it was placed on, observing the star labs logo on the side of it.

———

iris woke the following morning to a knock. one of her eyes peeked opened at the noise, feeling a headache rush over her. she looked over and found barry in bed side, shirtless. 

she let out a little gasp. she didn’t mean for the events that unfolded last night to do so. wine was never good for her. she swallowed the lump of guilt in her throat as she carefully crawled out of the bed. 

she made her way to the door quietly, rubbing her eyes from the sunlight that invaded her living room. 

“hello?” she spoke sleepily, before realizing there was no one in front of her. confusion took over her face, as she stepped forward to take a peek in the hallway only to find no one. as she did so, she felt a cold object make contact with her bare foot, quickly stepping back as it did so. she looked down to find a pair of binoculars. 

picking them up, she observed them at each angle, until finding the star labs logo on the side of it. her heart dropped as a thought crawled into her head. she covered her mouth as her eyes welled. 

“caitlin...” she muttered to herself, a tear falling down her cheek. she checked the hallway one more time, this time stepping out. she didn’t find a single person.

she rushed back into her house, barry walking out of her room.

“what’s wrong?” he questioned, rubbing at his eyes until they landed on the binoculars. his brows furrowed. 

iris stood at her doorway, crying even harder now as her eyes fell onto barry. barry finding the logo now, his mouth parted as he began to process what iris had began to think. 

“she had been watching over me.” iris choked, as the realization that she had probably seen what had happened last night, began to haunt her.


End file.
